Unconditional Love

"There will a come, you'll see, when Love wll not break your heart, but dismiss your fears." ~Mumford and Sons

I walked in from the ledge I was standing on in my last post. We are all permitted to falter on our quest to greatness, right? Let's get into it, then!
The 2nd Power Thought that we are working on is to remember everyday that we are loved UNCONDITIONALLY by God, always and forever!
(a reminder for blog readers: bolded questions are from the book, my answers follow. Answer too, for yourself. This is a great way to check in and to center yourself amidst your busy life!)

How do you believe God feels about you?

I think that God has spent the last 20 years of my life frustrated by me and my choices. During my teens and early twenties I was somewhat of a huge jerk. During my moments of terrible decision making, it was clear that God was trying to make me look to Him, but in my own selfish and arrogant way, I proceeded down my own road, feeling more helpless and more hopeless as I trudged forth. I feel that God and I struck a deal when I was 25 that He would meet me halfway. I had to make incredible changes in my own life before I was comfortable with God being a living presence in my world. I feel that he is constantly saying, "Amy...(sigh)" exasperated but never giving up on me.

You may want to stop reading here: I have to get braggy....
List 5 things right/good about you..
1. I am honest
2. I am empathetic
3. I have an amazing family (outlaws and in-laws)
4. I am funny and fun
5. I am loyal
*Please, if you read this blog just once, do this for yourself. It is one of the hardest things to do since it is so easy to be self-defeating.*

Do you regularly receive God's grace and give it freely to others?
With my infantile understanding of what Grace actually is, I would say that yes, God is constantly in a state of Grace with me if by Grace it means that he is always willing to give me another chance to mess up or succeed, that He is always there to pick me up when I have fallen, and that He continues to bless my life with amazing people and experiences, though I don't deserve it.
No, I am not free with my Grace toward others. I hold grudges. I don't forget the wrongs that have been committed against me and I don't often give people the benefit of the doubt. I shut people out of my life if I have learned that they cannot be trusted in their words and actions.

Do you believe that God loves you unconditionally?
Yes, most of the time. Definitely now more than ever, but I feel that God was angry with me when I was in high school and college. I made stupid, near fatal decisions at times and I feel that he was constantly trying so hard to make me listen that he had to shout to get me to turn to him.

Do you have a good relationship with yourself?
Now I do. I have worked so very very hard on my relationship with me. I know who I am and I know how to live with me and I know what I can handle and I know where I stand. And I think I love me.

Do you REALLY believe you are reconciled to God, that He is not angry with you, and that He is completely satisfied and pleased with who you are?

I believe that God loves me and that I am a work in progress and that I won't know for sure where I stand with God until I am actually standing with God.

How do you feel when you think about the fact that you are special and precious to God?
I cry. I feel undeserving. I am often struck with a marathon of tears when we sing "In Christ Alone" in church or when I hear it anywhere. This song is the reason for living, for why we are here. In its simplest form, it defines faith. When I let myself stand alone and allow God to fully embrace me and all of my faults, I feel an overwhelming sense of truth and peace. I learn then that I am content and that He will continue to shine my way if I look and listen and give up all that I cannot control.

Hmm, I am not fully convinced and need to work on this Power Thought for a while. We are constantly thinking about all that we are not instead of focusing on all that we are. When we learn to live with who and what we are, God can work in our lives and bless us. The trick is to be open to love and peace. Work in progress....work in progress.