Thirty-One

I can't sleep. I just attended my first of what I hope will be many Celebrate and Connect meetings for Thirty-One gifts. I am filled with promise and new hope for the future. Lately, my life has been filled with worries and fear, depression and boredom. I have been feeling somewhat lackluster in what should be the glorious first year of Stella's life. I have been weighed down and tied down by Meemee's Daycare. It was a great venture and I have learned a lot, but it is not for me. The College of Engineering has been wonderful in allowing me to work 1/4 time while I pursued this venture and stayed home to raise Lily and grow Stella. That has been a tremendous blessing in many ways. It is nice to know that I will always have a home there.
Tonight I was surrounded by women that loved what they do. The room was filled with a positive air throughout the evening. Everyone was so excited! What an amazing time to discover this company and all it has to offer. I am excited to get started! I was discouraged at first when I learned of the recruting freeze, but feel that God is giving me this time to get my affairs in order, to teach me patience, and to kick my perseverence into gear. There may be more to it, I find it rather odd that right when I was ready to sign on, the freeze went into effect. A little too timely for me. It was right at the time that I was feeling incredibly frustrated with myself and my lack of ability to finish anything or stay motivated about any one thing for a long. How funny, God, that you chose this venue to teach me to stick to it! I am optimistic about 2011.... and its not just because I decided to stick a fork in Meemee's Daycare on May 13th!! That helps! In ways I never imagined... Spring is upon us and the sun is showing itself every once in a while and I can breathe again. The girls and I get a sample next week of what our summer is going to be like without kids showing up at the door every morning at 7:30 am. They will have a rested mommy and I will have developed patience through my nights of restful sleep and we will be better than we have been.
Looking forward to August when I can begin this journey with Thirty-One!