Cry;I love you.

We spent the last several weeks in a state of vacation. And now it is time for vacation deflation. A time to reflect and debrief on the goings on in our families and in our lives. It is a strange life to be so far away that we have to cram a years worth of family life into the days that we get to be together once a year. It makes me yearn for a day when we can become a bi-state rather than a tri-state family. It is taxing on us and the girls, although they don't know it yet. I had several moments over these last few weeks where I allowed the tears to flow. They were happy and sad tears, overwhelmed and overjoyed tears, they were sympathy and empathy tears. I spent moments with the precious lives that we are connected to and I am so grateful. We are so very very blessed. It is natural, I suppose, to want to move "home" while we are together. It makes me wonder how in the hell we ended up in Idaho in the first place and I think about our plan to move here with the intention of staying no longer than 2 years. Our life took several drastic turns and now we are reluctantly planted and there is no clear vision of when we can return "home".
In an effort to remain positive, however, I will adjust! I had some time for some personal growth and was reminded of two very important rules for this life.

1. It is okay to cry.
2. Make sure people know that you love them.

I read somewhere that tears release hormones that can contribute to depression. I do not remember where I gathered this information, but it helps me as I am a cryer! I have also seen the toll that repression of emotions can take on a person and on the people that surround that person and that is not fair to anyone. If you need to cry, cry. Get it out, feel it, and get over it.

Love. It can be a hard to express. I am reminded of the night that Pete attempted to say I LOVE YOU for the first time to me. He took several deep breathes, then he would catch himself. I am not sure what he was afraid of and I sure wasn't going to say it first! I have always followed the thought that when you part with someone, make sure that your last words convey what you would want them to know if you were never going to see them again. I am not afraid to say I love you and I know that it drips from my pores when I am parting ways with our families. I have never had a problem with this, but it is more serious to me now that we are an island separated by an ocean of desolate land from our homes, from our people.

So, to the Nalywaiko-Stauffer-Franco-Gerth-Hougan-Koelpin-Fix-Heckendorf-Klug-Richardson-Kaulitz-Little-Chambers-Park families.... I LOVE YOU....and now I am going to go cry about it!